Dark Side of Portuguese History

Portuguese history is long and complicated.  The longer I am here, the more persistent it seems to be. You can laugh off an inappropriate joke or two.  But sometimes, the Portuguese are on the wrong side of history.

It includes the Nobel Prize winning scientist who invented the lobotomy.

Also years of colonialism all over the world.

Also disrespect for women (and "people from the colonies"), it does not SEEM to be overt. But it remains in the jokes I hear, and the critiques my uncle gives to the women on the street when he is in his car. And I am next to him. 

It is all a perfectly natural part of life here, and I am the outsider who is witnessing it. I was trying hard not to act shocked, but it has been persistent enough & I can't take it anymore.

Where is the line between "it's just a joke!" And someone testing your tolerance or trying for the shock value?  I've even heard jokes that insert a rascist spin.

A captain & his 3 sailors are on a sinking ship. The lifeboat will only hold 3, and the captain doesn't believe in going down with the ship.  He asks each a question to determine who can come.

"What was the worst shipwreck of civilian passengers during peacetime?"

"The Titanic", one answers. He gets on.

"How many people were killed?"

The second sailor offers the number (in the thousands) and gets on.

The captain then turns to the third sailor and says:"Name them!"

I have heard that joke before, as above.  The way my uncle told it, the third sailor was black.

Ugh.